Peak Faith

A Dream Fulfilled

2009-10-07T17:46:00.000-07:00

Mom2Mom at P4Square

So unbelievable that after almost two and half years of dreaming about this ministry... it's finally here! God has been so good in orchestrating all the details and assembling a team of women that can't be compared. Moms will be encouraged and inspired while the kids uplifted and taught! What an honor to be apart of pioneering such an amazing ministry!

Stop, Drop, and Rrrr... PRAY?

2009-04-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

"So when the Lord saw that he had caught Moses' attention, God called to him from the [burning] bush, 'Moses! Moses!' 'Here I am!' Moses replied. 'Do not come any closer,' God told him. 'Take off your sandles, for you are standing on holy ground.'" (Exodus 3:4-5)

So many times I see little fires in my life that need to be put out. I forget that maybe... just maybe... that li'l fire is meant to get my attention. Once captured, I need to remember to stop and wait to hear God's voice speak to me. To drop to my knees because I am on Holy ground. I don't wait and listen to the Lord as much as I should. I tend to try and fix the problem myself. You know the old addage, "Putting out li'l fires" all the live long day. This is a great reminder to not be so quick to put out that fire. To just take off my shoes and just wait and listen. Funny thought... if I take off my shoes... then I guess I'm less apt to go anywhere! I have to stay put! Hmmm... never thought of that before.

So I'm going to try! I'm going to attempt to Stop, Drop, and Pray more in my life! Although. I will say. The picture above was one of my "li'l fires" I needed to put out today. Wink Wink. I admit... I didn't stop, drop, and pray at that point. No! I told her to "Stay put, so mommy can take a picture!" And then proceeded to discipline her for getting into the cupboard! SIGH. I'll figure it out eventually: which fires I'm meant to put out right away... and which ones are just meant to keep on burnin'.

Just. Like. Me.

2009-03-23T20:07:00.000-07:00

I had MOPS today where the theme for the meeting was: Spa Day! We had various stations throughout the room where we could go and pamper ourselves. I got to soak my feet and paint my nails... It was heavenly. For my nail color, I picked this obnoxious shade of pink. I LOVE IT.

When Ava and I got home, we continued our relaxing morning. We snuggled. Played toys. Read books. Watched TV together. All the while, Ava kept playing with my fingers and admiring my pink nail polish. Finally, she asks, "Mommy. Can I hab pink po-wish just like you?!" Heart melting. "Of course you can!" We had the best time together. Ava's First Manicure! She was so giddy! She even went and stood in front of the mirror showing off her nails... to herself... and just giggled.

And then it hit me: My precious baby wants to be just like me. This knowledge alone gives me chills. The weight of that responsibility is pretty sobering. I don't want her to acquire my weaknesses... just my strengths! Oh if only it could be that simple. So with her little soft hand laid on top of mine... FLAMIN' PINK NAIL POLISH and all... I whisper a promise to myself. That I will be the best version of JEN I can possibly be for her. Cause I have a li'l one... who wants to be just like me.

Life Can Look Funny

2009-03-20T08:53:00.000-07:00

Life can just look so funny at times!

It's been a while since I've updated my blog... mainly because I miss out on the two way dynamics of communication. Blogs seem to be just "one way" but I guess that's o.k. That's what Facebook is for and go figure... the phone! So as I ease back into the world of writing, I start with just a quick li'l note of how life can look and seem so funny at times!

I found Ava recently making faces in the bathroom... at first I didn't know WHAT she was doing. She was just staring at our bathroom sink, or so it had appeared. And then as I looked closer, I noticed she was making faces in the handles of the cupboards! I tried to hold my delight in, as I didn't want to interrupt her curriosity. It was absolutely fascinating to watch her just smile and then contort her face in all these ways so as to make a more unique and often hilarious version of herself! I was crackin' up so hard!

It reminded me to just take pause and just enjoy a different side of myself. I don't always have to look just right and strive so hard in life. Sometimes a little variation of who we are shakes things up a bit! So taking a cue from my almost three year old, take a minute and go stare at yourself in the knobs or spoons of life... and just crack up at your self for a few! It's hilarious!

2008-12-22T23:09:00.001-08:00

Simplicity

2008-12-10T10:39:00.000-08:00

I love this time of year.
It's a season where I have no choice, but to get my heart right and mind set on what's really important. It's so easy to lose sight of that sometimes. My life gets busy. It get's hectic. And the weight of the world starts to push me down and then my heart and mind become fixated on the circumstantial rather than the eternal. With Ava, I find that I've become more purposed in helping her know what this time of year truly means. What Christmas is all about. In doing that, I find that I've grown because of it. I'm learning. I'm being reminded of why I celebrate this joyful season.

Recently at my MOPS group, we were asked to share what special Christmas traditions we remember fondly. We shared so many different memories. They were all so beautiful. But the underlying themes were so simple. And they didn't involve talking about the coolest gift we had received. We weren't talking about the latest and greatest of the season. No. We all shared memories that involved our mom and dad. Our family. It was about going to church and participating in the bell choir. Taking turns decorating the tree. Memories of the candle wind mill and beautiful advent wreaths our moms laid out. It was about the sights and smells of the seasons and who we were with that made it so important.

For me, that solidified my absolute desire in making this Christmas simple. With my sweet Daughter, I'm challenged to try and not allow the world to influence my traditions with her. I want to create the most simple traditions. The ones where she can have smells and sights that trigger a sense of emotion that will bring her back to her mom and Dad. That will bring her back home. So with that, here are some pictures of us making Christmas cookies for the very first time. A simple tradition that I hope to maintain over the years. And one that she too, will share fond memories of with her MOPS group!

Ava springking her cookie with goodies.

It was relaxing watching her be so meticulous about her creation.
She took such care in making her cookie!

Ava was so proud after wards!
"Mook It! My Cookie!"
That precious cookie was devoured in less than three minutes flat!

Fancy Girl

2008-12-06T19:39:00.001-08:00

I got to get dressed up this past Wednesday...
and it was so much fun.
Our church put on a Christmas At Tiffany's event for all the women.

Up til' this event, I hadn't had an occasion for getting all dolled up lately. And that's o.k. Although I must say, I am inspired to find fun and exciting things to do with my hubby. Things that would require a little more than my red "pull over" that I've been wearing since high school. Events where Matt would have to take his hat off and wear a tie. And places where we both were not allowed to wear jeans. I must say, that there is an added benefit to getting all dressed up... yeah it makes me feel good. But it's that look. It's that expression of "ooohh" that is always good for the ego. Like when I came out in the living room to model for my husband and asked if he liked my top...
Matt's expression was just what I needed for my feminine love tank!
He glided toward me and sighed, "Ooooh, I LIKE this!" and then couldn't keep his hands off me. That was FUN! O.k. TMI maybe but you get my point.

It's also great for the girls! I got to go shopping with two of my friends for this event a couple nights before. It was so fun trying on things and just helping each other by keeping things real and encouraging. What would we do with out our girl friends?

My dates (my bible study small group):
Heather, DeeDee, and Holly
We missed Steph and Amy so much!

I got to see other friends there too. It was so wonderful to see all these lovely ladies looking so beautiful. And the best part... was that you could really tell we truly ALL felt that way.

The MOPS Girls:
Holly and Jenny

The event was held at the Pioneer Park Pavillion. It was decked out in beautiful Christmas Lights, black table cloths and classy decorations. We enjoyed a fancy buffet of shrimp and other yummies and for dessert we had cake lolly pops. We even had Tiffany Blue lemon aid to sip on. Nothing was missed. We listened to this hilarious comedian... my cheeks hurt even the next day! It was just so much fun!

Ladies from my previous small group:
Tara and Sandie

This event reminded me that:

It's imporatant to get dressed up from time to time.
and
It's a blessing to have so many relationships
that build the facets of sweet community in your life!
and
Buying a really nice, form fitting top...
will make your husband drool.
Try it!

Santa Pictures... We've Come A Long Way!

2008-12-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in my previous entry, my Aunt Sue and I took Ava to go see Santa this past Thursday. Given the content of that entry, I felt it necessary to do a separate one, dedicated to JUST this sweet event!

You know, when we first started to go see him two years ago, things weren't that great. There was hesitation. There was fear. I mean, the man is huge and red and holds on to you when you don't even know who he is! SHEESH. Who does he think he is?!

Today... Ava high fived the big guy as he entered his magical area and took his seat on his big, plush green, comfy chair. When it was her turn, she walked right up to him and positioned herself in front of him in just a way, he knew to pick her up.

They started by reading a book...

and then they "chatted" for a minute...

well... kind of... she was showed how to whisper into his ear.
She followed instructions really well though!

And then it was time to say good bye... and this time...

no instructions were needed!

It was so nice to see her so content. Because... you know...

We've come a long way!

Since the days of crying!

Valley Dweller

2008-12-06T00:05:00.001-08:00

The past three weeks or so, I have been in a funk. I'm not talking about the ho-hum, mwa-mwa, eore kind of funk. I'm talking the "put your behind in the naughty chair" kind of funk. Irritable. Feisty. Moody. Just a plain old boob who's been nothing but a bully. Now before you start to think that maybe it's just a girl thing, let me reassure you, it's not. This was much deeper. Deeper because it involved my spiritual well being.

I hate it when that happens! Why can't it just be circumstantial? Why does it have to involve me having to learn a lesson? I think of my daughter as I wrote that last statement. There are times when, exasperated, I sigh and with every ounce of restraint, cock my head and ask, "WHY, Ava? Mommy JUST told you NOT to do that." Not to mention that I told her ump-teen gillion other times, mind you. And yet here I am... wonderging if God, exasperated, is cocking his head and asking me, "WHY, Jen? When I just told you..." I've wanted to change. I've deperately prayed the most simple of prayers because that's all I had in me to just say, "Help me, Lord. Help me. Change me, Lord. Change me." Feeling the weight of defeat lately, my prayers had finally been answered and I think I finally had a break through, and it was oh SO simple.

I was on South Hill Thursday. I had just left my Aunt and Ava at the mall where we got Santa pictures taken. Before we left, it was foggy and frigid. As I was leaving the mall, I reached for my sun glasses because the sun was absolutely blinding. It was warm. I actually stopped in the parking lot for a minute and just stood there to take in those rays. They felt so good. I got in my warm car and took a deep breath... followed by a content sigh. I started for home. As I was making my way down the hill, I noticed this amazing sight. From the hill, the vantage point is beautiful, overlooking the entire valley and beyond. On this particular day though, the fog had swallowed up most visibility of the area and just hovered over the valley like a gloomy blanket. I wanted to turn around. I didn't want to go down that hill. I just left that foggy funk and I feared if I entered it again, it would swallow me whole. And then He spoke to me...

And it surprised me. It wasn't as I imagined how it would be with his head cocked and disapointed tone. No. It was one of reasurance and hope. He told me to take that warmth and wonderfully bright sun that made me want to sigh, back down into that valley. That though it was nice to be up on this mountain (of sorts) there comes a time when you inevitably have to return to the valley. That's where I'm meant to live. And just like that, it was gone. The weight. It was completely gone. I was excited for my day again. I was smiling again. The littlest things weren't setting me off anymore. Matt and Ava noticed the difference and believe me when I say... I noticed a difference in them (poor things)!

I realized that even though there might be a fog over me... fog doesn't weigh much! It's not heavy. It's not thick. It doesn't hurt. It can't crush me. It just hinders my sight a little. That's all. Nothing more. Nothing less. That's why you go out and do your thing during the day and if you need to go out at night... well... then... that's what high beams are for!

So with a renewed hope and clear perspective (oh it's still foggy outside mind you... but my vision is crystal)... I eagerly send this out into the world hoping it might encourage someone who may have felt the same way. And you don't have to tell me who you are... I know you're out there. Be encouraged.

Firsts

2008-11-02T20:03:00.000-08:00

There are so many wonderful "firsts" in life. You just want to hold on to them with all your heart. When you experience these moments for yourselves... there's an exhilarating rush of knowing that this moment matters! When it happens to your child, though... there's still a sense of excitement. But if you're like me... there's also a sense of sadness. Because it's in that moment where you begin to realize, your baby is really growing up.

Here are some moments that matter... some wonderful "firsts" for our dear Ava!

Ava's first Trick or Treat!
Grandma & Grandpa Peak gave Ava this beautiful, traditional Korean dress, in honor or our heritage. We still need to get professional pictures taken with her in it, but for now, it was such a great dress for such a fun occasion!

We even were stopped by two very sweet Korean teenagers who wanted to take her picture!

And then... we really feel like she's growing up when...

she gets into her "big girl" bed for the very first time!

Slow down, li'l one... slow down.
Oh, so many more "firsts" to experience!

2008-10-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

What Are They Up To?

2008-10-09T18:56:00.000-07:00

I thinks it's an absolute blessing, that sometimes...

I can't seem to find my husband and my daughter.

Our house isn't THAT big, and it's not that I mean I don't LIKE that I can't find them,
but when they're gone, I know that wherever they are, they're having a great time together! I admit that when I have some time to myself I truly cherish those quiet moments for just "me" and yet at the same time, I can't help but wonder what fun I'm missing out on. So, in my effort to try and give them their space while embracing my own, I put off my curiosity of what they might be up to.
And then there are times, when I just can't help myself. It's just too quiet... and I need to know what's going on! Because deep down, I know where ever they are...
they're havin' a good time!

One time, I found them reading a book in the hallway on the stairs.

And then last night, while I was on the computer in the living room, I hear Matt calmly requesting my presence to the bathroom because...

Ava decided that while flossing her teeth...

She'd give herself a li'l ride on Daddy!

2008-10-07T14:02:00.000-07:00

Matt has been encouraging me to put together a "dictionary" of sorts... of all the adorable ways our li'l Ava speaks to us. She tries so hard, to say the right things at the right time.

Here are a few of our favorites:

"OGO Bar"
Translation: Granola Bar

"Pee Juice"
Translation: Peach Iced Tea Crystal Light
(mixed with water)

"Oooh, Swees Me!"
Translation: "Oh, Excuse Me!
(usually said right after she farts)

"HEY, MATT! Where are ya?!"
Translation: "Hey you! Where are you?!"
(she calls for "MATT" even when trying to get me)

"Med-Sin"
Translation: Medicine
(or any brightly colored liquid in a bottle)

"Hold It Cheese"
Translation: A Slice of Cheddar Cheese
(she can "hold")

"Ice Cweeem"
Translation: Yogurt
(but it still means the other sweet stuff too)

"I Numb You."
Translation: Oh, my favorite of all...
"I love you."

Inspired

2008-10-06T17:43:00.000-07:00

I'm learning that viewing life through the eyes of Ava is far more interesting and compassionate, and sincere, and all things pure. Just the way God intended us to view the world. Through the eyes of a child. Here are some examples of that view. From where she sits... the world is pretty AMAZING!

Matt and Ava go on a walk every night together. They have their usual route. Well, on this particular route, there is a rusty old truck. When Ava first laid eyes on it she said,

"Ohhhh, Daddy. OUCHIE TRUCK."

Daddy then explained that yes, indeed the truck has "ouchies."

I love her compassion.

We went to the zoo recently and she was amazed at all the animals. Ava was really starting to participate in the fun of being at the zoo. I just sat back at this moment, watching her gaze as the walrus' paraded back and forth. She kept saying,

"Oooh, dey hab wiskas."

I love her wonder.

We went to the pumpkin patch and had a chance to go through the corn maze. She noticed Daddy looking at the map and wanted to help. As she walked she was determined to help us find our way. She said,

"Where go?!"

I love her determination, bravery and sense of adventure.

There are so many other beautiful things about my daughter that I wish I could share. Ones that I know, you as a parent, can relate to. It's inspiring to try and be child-like in our every day lives. And yet, it's a constant challenge at the same time. I endeavor to be more like Ava in my days, weeks, months, and even years to come.

Ewwww... Poopies

2008-09-29T19:27:00.000-07:00

Matt and I received our information packet for an adoption organization we think we’re going to go with. We were talking in depth about it while Ava was napping. Even watched an amazing DVD on the subject. It was touching. After about thirty minutes of adoption prep talk, Matt decided to wake up Ava from her nap and I started getting dinner ready for our picnic at the park. After they came downstairs, while I was preparing sandwiches, I could see them talking and overheard Matt tenderly speaking blessings over our Ava. And then Ava dropped a bombshell! It showed me how life is so comical… even in the midst of these major decisions. This is what I heard:

Matt was stroking Ava’s hair as he began saying these tender words…

“Ava, I just KNOW that you will be an amazing older sister. I know that you will be a big sister who shares. Someone who will watch out for your little sister and play so well together. You’re just ready to be a big sister and we want that for you...”

Ava interrupts: “Ewwwwww… poooopies, Daddy.”

We both start laughing.

“Ava… do you have poopies in your diaper?”

“Nooo… Ava POOOOPIES.”

“O.k. So you wanna go poopies?”

“Mmm Hhmmm. AVA pooopies.”

SIGH. So we’ll get back to that tender moment later. Nature calls.

Ava Said Her First Prayers!

2008-09-17T22:43:00.001-07:00

I get the blessing of tucking my little girl into bed most nights. Our routine is short and sweet but oh so meaningful. It’s the tender moment that I get to share with her at the end of the day, despite how we both behaved, good or bad. It’s been up to this point, that I’ve hoped I’m fashioning a firm foundation in creating a thankful heart and honoring reverence to our Lord. I’ve trusted that sometimes the fruit in which we bear, can sometimes take years to cultivate… so when this happened I felt honored to witness such a harvest… and it was amazing!! Her sweet lil’ prayer went something like this:

“K, honey, we’re going to pray then say Nigh-Nigh.”

“k.”

“Jesus, we thank you for the blessings of this day! We thank your for Aunt Sue Sue...”

“And TWAINS.”

GASP… “And trains… that’s right, honey! What else?”

(side note… she went to The Fair with her Aunt Sue and rode on some fun rides)

“And fo da caaars. And fo Benji (our neighbor dog).” PAUSE

“Ah Huh… And for Mr. Steve (Benji’s owner). And we thank you for the blessing of a good nights rest… and we ask that Ava’s sleep go uninterrupted and with the best dreams! We thank for Daddy...”

“And da walk.” (we went for a nice walk after dinner)

“Yeah, and the walk! And we pray all these things in Jesus Name!”

(and we usually exclaim… AMEN - together, but Ava had one final thought… )

“AND FOR DA FE-WY!”

“And for the Fe-wy.”

Together… “AMEN!”

Oh so sweet… I got a little teary eyed as I told Matt! OH… and the Fe-wy?

Translation: THE FAIR. :-)